I suppose it would be a stubborn paradox to say I have a prejudice against prejudice. Which means I’m no better or worse than anyone else, though really no one is better or worse; they merely are.
I heard a quote, I’m thinking it was from the movie Schindler’s List but I’m not sure, that went, “I trust Hitler, because he is the only one who kept every promise he made to the Jews.”
And I thought that was paradoxical too. If paradoxical is a word (I’m too lazy to look it up). It was great, though, because it made sense in a stifled, obscene sort of way. It’s a sad day when the only ones to be trusted work for the other side, if you know what I mean.
For a long time, I was stuck in that whole “good side, bad side” mindset. I kept thinking that there are enemies, and that the friends of those enemies are allied to the original enemies. That all enemies are one entity, when really they can’t ever be because there are simply too many to count or align.
Also for the longest time, I didn’t ever read any books but the shallow ones. The ones with all the action and adventure because I wanted action and adventure, and when I faced the facts I realized the only adventuring I’d ever do was in my head. I’m not so brave, not so strong. Truthfully, I’m something of a coward and cowards do cowardous acts.
So no action for me. Instead I read You Don’t Know Me (David Klass), and Looking For Alaska (John Green), and I fell in love again with all things mysterious. Mystery remains my secret lover. And to imagine; even I didn’t know it!
I have to say though, there is absolutely nothing I like better than crying. Um, well, not crying exactly–but the feeling I get after I’m all dried up and somewhat numb. It helps alot when thinking about situations. Seems like every day that goes by dry-eyed, there’re all these emotions just welling up. I realize the saying is true; everyone needs a good cry once in a while. Perhaps the he-men say no, that’s not true, but I think they’re the ones who need it the most. Seems to me, as well, that all that is righteous turns the most corrupt for its purity. Just as only true love can twist to such hatred as humanity can hold within the head and heart.
The world is so full of paradoxes. Contridictions of contridictions that go around and around, like the infinity sign if you ever get a chance to see it. And with each new contridiction, there spouts an even newer theory; and perhaps this is, in the end, how civilization grows. Like cell phone companies competing for customers by advertising the sale. With each price drop comes a similar drop in the competetors’ rates, and so on. Shifting, changing–really, what else is new?
